Usually I plan my posts ahead of time. The topic, the pictures, what I am going to say, what I am not going to say, and so on. But here I am writing this completely random post because I am feeling extra nostalgic as I think about my first year of college that just flew by, and the mixed emotions I have about going back. Besides fashion, beauty, and other things I want my blog to be a place where I can talk without a filter and share my thoughts. So here it goes...
I always hear of people wanting to leave home because they are tired of it. That wasn't the case for me, I love my home! But I wanted to go to the school I am now in (go gators!) and wanted to have the "college experience." At first things didn't go as I planned, but I decided to go and give it a chance anyway.
Now when I tell you this change hit me hard, it hit me real hard. I had to learn to cook for myself, I had to learn to live with other people with personalities completely different from mine, I had to learn to have patience (something I thought I had and then realized I totally didn't), I had to learn that not everyone thinks the way I do, and most importantly I had to learn to embrace new things I didn't even know about myself along the way.
During my first year of college someone I love very much was going through a very difficult time. Barely anyone knew about it and the people around me who did, didn't really understand. Living away from your loved ones during hardship isn't easy and it's something you may experience in your time away in college on more than one occasion. I went from seeing my boyfriend every single day to seeing him twice a month (maybe). I went from eating dinner with my parents every night to eating dinner alone most nights. Some days I felt so lonely, but I have always been extremely good at hiding my emotions, whether it be total excitement or complete sadness. Stress from handling school, a social life, and getting your sh*t together physically and mentally is a constant battle.
But then again, I have had some of the happiest, funniest moments of my life in college! Like coming home at four in the morning with my roommates after a night out and laughing for hours as we replay events that occurred throughout the night. Like waking up from a nap to the sound of a fire alarm because my roommate burned her food. Like getting lost going to our first college party. Like putting a speaker in the hallway of our apartment and blasting music every time we get ready to go out. Like cooking meals together. Like living with a complete stranger who actually taught me a lot of great things without knowing it. But my favorite part was meeting individuals that in a short period of time became friends that I know I will have for a lifetime.
There was a point in my first semester of college that I wanted to come back home to be completely honest, but I stayed and told myself that if by the end of the semester I wasn't happy I would make a decision. Looking back at it now, I am glad I stayed. In a way I think it has made my relationship stronger. Even though the distance sucks, it has taught us many valuable lessons. I have grown as an individual. I have learned to make shitty chicken (my specialty as a new chef by the way). I have thought more and more about my future, but I have also learned the importance of living in the moment.
College is a very unique experience. You can go from being down one second to being excited over the smallest things, like your 9 AM being canceled, the next. For a moment I used to think I was going crazy, but then I slowly realized the majority of those around me are feeling the exact same mix of emotions. So take it day by day and enjoy it. These four years are filled with new and incredible moments you will never get back!
Valeria Laguna x